Graceful Chaos

Life is messy, but in the best way possible. It's full of energetic chaos, with no time to slow down and take it all in. And when nighttime falls or the weekend rolls around, you finally have peace to reflect on your accomplishments. You've been productive enough to have accomplished something on every day of the week…even if it's still not perfect. 

The story of my life has always been one big mess followed by a calm period where I try and make sense of everything that happened. I have a knack for seeing the big picture, even when I can't see the forest for the trees. What was supposed to be a calmer season ended up being one of the most chaotic times of my life, with some of my best memories in there as well. It's only when everything finally settles down that I get to take a breath and look back. And most of all–I'm proud that I stayed sane through it all.

Relationships are what true chaos is made out of. They're messy and complicated, but that's what makes them so beautiful. You can lose yourself in someone else, but you can also find peace there by confronting your own problems head-on. And there's nothing better than the sense of completion that comes with the end of a relationship. There's nothing more freeing than letting go of someone who took up so much room in your life.

I've been on my own for over a decade now, and it feels awesome to finally be able to put everything into perspective and move on without anyone else. I've gained a new sense of freedom and purpose in my life. I don't think anyone would ever believe that this is something I'd trade for anything, and figuring out how to live with yourself is the most important thing you can do in life.

I could go on and on about what it means to be in the wrong relationship–but there's no shame in admitting defeat. It's better to be honest about a bad experience than to continue living a lie. There are plenty of opportunities out there, and I'm excited to see where life takes me next.

I don't know what the future holds for me. I've accepted that I won't know unless it comes up, and even then, it might not be the same as what I envisioned. But I'm excited to take on whatever new challenges life throws at me next.

I feel very lucky to have gotten a second chance at life. And to say that I feel grateful is an understatement. I have so much to be grateful for. I'm blessed with a loving and supportive family, a great career and friends who are always there for me. I have passion in my life that's fueled by my love of human nature and all of the little quirks that make us so interesting. And I have something real to write about–as opposed to the fantasy world of a screenwriter.

I'm not perfect, but I try my best to live an authentic life every day. Making mistakes is part of being human–but it's important to learn from them as well. Rarely do people get second chances at life–and if they do, they often don't know how to make use of them. I have the privilege to get this second chance and make the most of it.

I've learned that life is hard, but you should never quit. You need to keep going when everything seems at a standstill and not give up just because things aren't going your way. It's never too late to make a change, even if you've been trying for years. And being yourself is the best way to go through life. You need to realize who you are and what makes you unique–and do the best they can with it. It's important not to be afraid of change because things can only get better if we keep working at them.

But, most of all, I'm proud to be a woman. It's nice to have the choice to do what makes me happy, and I'm lucky enough to be able to choose that. I don't feel any extra pressure to fulfill anyone else's expectations of beauty and success. After all, one thing I've learned is that life is too short for that—if we're not happy with who we are then we should just Be Happy.

I'm the person I am today because of all the different people I've known in my life. They've shaped me into the person I am today and made me who I am today. They taught me what it means to be myself, and they taught me how to be a better man. And no matter how hard things get or what uncertainty there is in life, that's always where my strength comes from–the people who were there for me when I needed them most.

But don't feel bad if you can't relate to any of this…it's okay not to feel like you're part of a special club anymore—life goes on whether we're ready for it or not. But I want you to know that it's possible to be happy and live a good life even if you're not living up to the expectations of the people around you. And if you don't feel like your life is perfect, then it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you–because no one's life ever is.

If only I knew a few years ago what I know now. It's complicated, but no matter what happens in your life–like Robin Williams once said, "Try to be happy". Because "happiness…it's worth the effort".

Conclusion:

What would I tell myself if I could go back in time and tell myself my life lessons earlier? Here's what I would say:

Don't drink too much. You're young, remember? Drink to be social, not to get drunk. Don't stop listening to your inner voice. The saying "follow your gut" is true–learn to listen to yourself when you feel something isn't right, and make the right decisions then (I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK). Don't wait until the last minute. Allow yourself a little time, and do things when you know you can do them well.