10 top tips to become the worst sales person in your company!

If you’re in a desperate job hunt and need to find a new position in the sales industry, sometimes it can be hard to tell what the best way is to get your foot in the door. But don’t worry – we’ve got you covered with our top ten tips on how to become the worst salesperson in your company!

1. Show up late for every meeting

2. Keep interrupting people when they are speaking

3. Only talk about yourself and never try to listen or ask questions 

4. Don't do any of your work 

5. Ask personal questions about their family or beliefs 

6. Be rude and disrespectful to your colleagues

7. Don't show up to work, then try to convince people you were sick

8. Call in sick, unless it is graded on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being very frequent [OR] never call in sick at all

9. Don't get along with your supervisor even though they don't hold it against you

10. Deceive people

1. If there’s a meeting, show up late and act like you’ve been sent to do the job of someone else. This will make it seem like you’re less important than everyone else in the meeting. 

2. Interrupt people when they are speaking if your boss doesn't like the answer or if he/she wants to speak, then get in the conversation yourself; it makes your boss feel important and a presence even if he/she has no idea what's going on! 

3. Don't try to listen at all and just talk about yourself; no one likes talking about themselves! 

4. Don't do any work. It's hard to look like a complete idiot with no work when you're an intern, but it also makes you seem like you aren't very smart. 

5. Ask them questions about their family and beliefs so they can answer and it looks like they are talking about themselves the whole meeting! 

6. Be rude to everyone in the office, except for your boss; then email him/her about how rude everyone is to you – this will make your boss feel guilty because he/she neglected to defend you when there was no reason for them to do so; then they will protect you more from future discomfort.

7. Don't show up to work if you aren't going to be there; if you get in trouble for skipping, then make up a story about why you couldn't go, and ask to stay another day; it will keep your boss from getting upset at you for missing work and hint that there is more at stake than the simple fact of missing a few hours.

8. If your boss calls in sick, lie about being sick yourself; but make sure that it's graded on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being "never". Also, don't ever let your boss know that you are going to call in sick.

9. Don't get along with anyone because no one will let you do anything wrong.

10. Deceive people for your company by saying that you did in fact complete an important task when you didn't, but then making sure that you are in a position where you won't be discovered.

Once you have your foot in the door, what's next?

 Well, it all depends on how far up the ladder your foot will go. :D If they really like you and continue to let you go down deeper and deeper into their job descriptions, and they keep giving more responsibilities to you even though it looks like they're just doing it to get rid of one person, then this is a good time to start thinking about getting a new job.

Feeling like your boss is a little too nice for you?  

Letting you do everything for him/her?  It's time to get a new job!

Saying "thank you" and giving out compliments when they are not deserved. If you're being told that your boss thinks you're doing a good job, and he/she is complimenting you on a job well done when it wasn't actually anything special, then it's time to go. Your boss is letting his/her guard down and starting to trust you. This is good if it's with the right people, but not if it's with someone like yourself.

But it all depends on what kind of job you're in now. 

If you're in sales, and your boss is nice to you, then try to continue with what you're doing because he/she might eventually decide to promote you.

If you're in customer service, or an HR job for that matter, and your boss is nice to you, then try to continue with what you are doing because the company will eventually hire new people that your boss doesn't like just so they can get rid of them. But if they really like being nice to YOU and keep introducing YOU as someone who will be great at the job when maybe they have no idea along what path exactly YOUR career path should be taking next... well...