Stop Pointing at Me! Which Way Do You Point Your Accountability Finger?

When people start to feel embarrassed, they usually do something to avoid drawing attention to themselves. If you roll your eyes in class when the teacher looks at you then slide down in your chair, you're avoiding responsibility. When a boss figures out that someone has committed a mistake and tries to assign blame, he or she will find the person who least wants the attention and point their finger in that person's direction. This post will show you how accountability works and how it can work for you!

Whose fault is it? It's all our fault! One can't be blamed without also blaming others- including oneself- because eventually everything connects at some point or another. You might ask yourself "Who takes responsibility?". The answer is: "No one takes responsibility. No one." It is a popular belief among many that you can point the finger at someone else and then avoid the problem. If someone screws up, then you should blame them and not yourself!

Here's why this makes sense: If I point my finger at you, then I don't have to deal with the discomfort of looking in the mirror every day after making a mistake. The problem becomes hypothetical because no one will ever know I made a mistake- because it wasn't their fault! If I say it's your fault, then none of us will ever have to own up to our mistakes. If we don't own up to our mistakes, then there's nothing to apologize for. By "avoiding responsibility", you are allowing other people to avoid their responsibility and this benefits no one.

The lack of accountability is the reason why we have a "blame culture" that exists on most college campuses today. I get great satisfaction out of pointing my finger at you, claiming that you have hurt me in some way, whether it be rejecting a date, talking about a friend behind their back or whatever it is that happened in the past week. I get a great feeling of power because I am avoiding responsibility. But guess what? It doesn't work! It's not me who is accountable. It's you!

When someone points at me, I don't want to hear: "You're supposed to answer my question." or "You're supposed to start the lunch count." These are excuses used by people who are deflecting accountability and avoiding responsibility. An accountability finger pointing at me is saying, "Stop making excuses for yourself and own up to your mistakes." For example, if someone answers my question with an incorrect answer, then it's usually because they didn't know the answer or had done some research and couldn't find the correct information on their own. If someone talks about a friend behind their back and then gets angry with me for asking about it- well, that's up to them. It's my responsibility to speak up at some point when I feel as though I may be being deceived or lied to. If someone starts the lunch count and doesn't get around to it, then that's on them. A finger pointing at me is saying, "If you don't start the lunch count today, then the person who is waiting for you on Tuesday can tell me they are tired of waiting."

The problem with pointing fingers at others is that I am avoiding responsibility. If I chose to accept my accountability, then there is no finger to point at anyone else because I am the one responsible for being accountable for myself. The issue of responsibility and guilt are a good example of how accountability works.

The person who is responsible- or accountable- doesn't blame anyone else for the problem. He takes ownership of his actions and realizes that he can fix the problem better than anyone else because no one understands his role or what he's trying to do better than he does. The person who is non-accountable doesn't realize that they are standing on shaky ground by not accepting blame. By blaming someone else, they are admitting their inability to find a solution while simultaneously blaming others. The non-accountable person is trying to avoid responsibility by doing this. The accountable person realizes there is a better solution than blaming someone else.

The solution to the problem of pointing fingers is recognizing that it's not about who does the pointing but about how you respond to the finger that matters most. It's not about who owns up to their mistakes, but what we do with our mistakes that makes all of the difference!

That was one tough class period!   I had a tough class period with the "not so good" kids today. I can tell that I'm going to have my hands full with them for awhile. That's okay. I'm used to it by now.

Here are some things that you can do to help avoid looking at your fingers when your boss points them at you:

1) Recognize that the one who is pointing does not have all of the answers:  If you feel as though you're being penalized for not knowing the answer, then you know that blaming others is a misconception of what accountability is, and it's something that your boss does not have control over. Your boss can only tell you what has happened. If there was an error, then they will ask if you made an error so they can correct it and make sure nothing like that happens in the future.

2) Don't let his or her words get to you:   It's understandable that no one likes to be yelled at. If people are yelling at you, then it's best to take in the essence of what your boss is trying to tell you without feeling offended by what he or she says. Even when I talk to my boss I'll ask them how they want me to respond. If it's something that doesn't really get me mad, then I just go with it. The key is not letting their words get the best of me.

3) Take ownership of the problem and make sure it doesn't happen again:   If there is an error, then it's up to you to fix it and not to blame anyone else. My boss showed me that I posted the wrong post on a blog. He told me to fix it or he would do it for me. I had no idea that he would give me a hard time about it. Here's the lesson: just because your boss points their finger at you doesn't mean that you have done anything wrong. When in doubt, ask them how they want you to proceed with fixing their mistake.

4) Realize that you are in control of your future and the decisions you make will make all of the difference:   If you're going to blame your boss, then it's not likely that they're going to be too eager to help you out. You need to realize that if you want a better outcome, then it's up to you. It's about how good of an employee do you want to be.

5) Ask for clarification if there is confusion:   If responsibility is a two-way street, then accountability is also a two-way street.

Conclusion:  It's important to realize that accountability is about doing your best and making the right decision for you. Accusing others of errors or mistakes only wastes your energy and doesn't help you get those things that you want out of life. Being accountable is about owning up to your mistakes, taking responsibility for your actions, and being responsible for yourself.

At the end of the day, I realized that I don't have to work so hard because I started practicing this lesson by pointing my finger at nobody in particular as a small boy: "Yes, Sir!" it's always better to be responsible because it makes such a difference in our lives.